Find the root cause of your partner’s erectile dysfunction
If your partner faces erection problems, it's natural to wrongly feel responsible, but it's usually not the partner's fault. Sex expert Ian Kerner, Ph.D., notes that linking ED to lack of attraction is rare. Erections result from a mix of physical and psychological factors, emphasizing the need to acknowledge the issue's complexity.
Physical Causes of Erectile Dysfunction
Certain health conditions and medications can impede blood flow to the penis, leading to erectile issues for your partner. Here are potential physical causes of ED:
- Heart disease
- Diabetes
- Obesity
- High blood pressure
- Low testosterone levels
- Side effects of prescription medications (e.g., antidepressants, muscle relaxers)
- Use of recreational drugs like alcohol, cocaine, marijuana, nicotine, and opiates
- Complications from COVID-19 – research suggests the coronavirus elevates the risk of ED by almost six times (dubbed "Mask up to keep it up").
How to know if your partner’s ED is physical or psychological
Partners often wonder about the causes of ED, but determining them can be challenging without consulting a healthcare professional. Typically, younger men (40 or below) may face more psychological issues, while older men often encounter physical concerns.
If your partner experiences erections at certain times (morning, masturbation, randomly) but not during foreplay or initiated sex, it could suggest a psychological rather than a physical cause.
Keep in mind that sexual issues are intricate, so it's crucial to refrain from making assumptions about your partner's ED until you have more information together.
4 tips for partners to deal with erectile dysfunction
Supporting your partner through ED, whether it's physical, psychological, or both, requires a non-judgmental and pressure-free approach. Here are four ways to help your partner overcome ED:
1. Have an Open Conversation:
Communicate openly about ED, assuring your partner that it doesn't diminish his masculinity or desirability. Emphasize the importance of his well-being over sexual performance and express your willingness to work through the issue together.
2. Explore New Sexual Activities:
Introduce novelty in the bedroom to alleviate pressure. Experiment with sex toys like penis rings or vibrators, or simply try changing the location of intimacy. A change in scenery can rekindle the spark.
3. Propose Counseling or Sex Therapy:
If the cause is psychological, encourage counseling or sex therapy to address the root issues. Couples counseling can provide moral support and potentially expedite the resolution process, with research suggesting significant improvement in stress-related ED when partners participate in sessions.
4. Consider ED Medication:
Suggest trying ED medications like sildenafil or tadalafil, dispelling misconceptions about age or masculinity. Platforms like BlueChew offer affordable and discreet online access to these medications in chewable form, eliminating the need for clinic visits.